Braces at Fifty-Something

For as long as I can remember, I have wished for straight teeth. Two things I didn't get from my dad were his incredible singing voice and his perfect teeth. My teeth aren't horrible, but in this age of perfectly straight and so-white-you-have-to-cover-your-eyes teeth, mine seemed unbearable.

I almost got braces when I was 24 years old, and worked for Xerox Corporation. I even had dental coverage. The reason I didn't, quite honestly, was that the dentist told me I would look different and my lips would be thinner. By the time I contemplated that sufficiently, I was no longer at Xerox, and I didn't do it. I have regretted that for the last thirty-something years.

So, here I am, two months into a 14 month experience of a lifetime! It is strange that I was always self-conscious about my teeth and hated my smile, yet now that I so obviously have a mouth full of metal, I have no problem smiling large!

My orthodontist, Mr. Lee, is a young asian man who is very personable. When I went for my first tightening and check-up last month, I was sitting in the chair with Mr. Lee's upside down face to my right, and his assistant's face upside down on my left. Just before my hour of non-speak began (the proverbial adjustments), Mr. Lee said, "How are you doing with your braces?" I said, "I am doing fine, but I feel like Mr. Ed the talking horse, you know, the way his lips were so animated when he 'talked'."

Mr. Lee looked puzzled. So did his young assistant. I explained further. "You know they probably put peanut butter inside the horse's mouth to make him move his lips, and that's how I feel when I'm trying to stretch my lips over all this metal to talk. You know? Have you ever seen Mr. Ed the talking horse?" Mr. Lee, still smiling, shook his head no. I turned my eyes to the younger assistant. "You?" I said to her. She, still smiling as well, shook her head no.

Okay, so I dated myself. Odds are no one in that room, which had six full dental chairs, six assistants,two orthodontists, a receiptionist and a partridge in a pear tree in it, had ever seen Mr. Ed the talking horse. Oh well, my friends will appreciate that terrific word picture.